If you had just spent 4 miserable days being ill, just to find out it was your significant other who gave it to you by cheating, how would you feel? what would be going through your mind? This is an illness that is curable w/antibiotics, and will leave no trace it was ever there, except in your mind. I know you can cheat on somebody and love them, and really mean then no harm but, should'nt you at least avoid that aspect of it, and use condoms, and decent judgement on who you are doing this with? I know deep down I'm not in love w/him anymore, and have'nt been in some time, but I just find myself in shock really on how close I've come to death! Thoughts of "aids", "herpes", and all those other no-cure sex filled diseases keep dancing through my head. He has no idea that I know at this time, and although I am in fact leaving, (not just because of this) I'm sure he'll do the traditional thing for him which is either lie, or just walk off in a huff, and/or turn it on me. Although I have not been perfect either in the "cheating" dept., it has been 3 years, and he never knew. He has accused me of cheating since we first got togather, when I in fact did not, or could not. When I ended up doing so, this was at a time when he was saying nothing regarding the subject. Wild, is'nt it? I just think that after you get accused of something for so long, you might as well just do it. By the time I did, I had almost forgot everything I loved about him, enjoyed the sex, and felt no guilt. Why stay then? (some may ask) 3 children, and alot of personal, and material issues. Basically, my relationship is built around these children, and up until now "to die for sex" every once in a great while. He is however a wonderful Father, and a very good man, a friend to many, while not one of mine in a long while. I've been thinking alot on this, believe me the feelings are rampant, and harsh. With me it's not so much the cheating, as the risk on my life, and I'm sharing all of this because all of you are the closest things to friends I have of late, and I'm curious how different I could feel about this If we had a good relationship, like alot of you do out there. I'm thinking I would feel quite different, more of the sad, crushing emotions. Anyway, if you got to this point, please take the time to give me your thoughts. Thanks.

I've been thinking alot about affairs, whats considered "cheating". There was a time in my life where I would have never considered it, but I am now. I'm curious why people have them, and if you've had one (or several) I'd like to know why, what led you to that, and if it's a regretable experience. What leads us to cheat? Is it because it's a so called "rule" thats easily broken, are we not getting what we need in the bedroom, or are we curious what someone else is like in bed? Are we tired of the "same old-same old"? Can you truly be in love, but cheat at the same time? If so, does that mean it's just a one night stand, or can it be an on-going affair? How can we cheat, but hate to be cheated on? Can having an affair really save a relationship in any way, when more often than not it ends one? Really curious here friends, help me out.

Every year I hear family, friends, and the media talking about New Years resolutions. I've never really made them, but this year I've decided to make one to "reclaim my life". I feel like it's no longer mine sometimes. My relationship is one of GIVE GIVE GIVE, w/very little TAKE. This is no longer going to be on my front burner, so to speak. We have small children, and I believe they need us both at this point, on a daily basis and w/the holidays coming up, it's not really the time (where they are concerned) to make a move. I also spend to much time not saying NO. If I feel I'm over my limit where time, and energy is concerned, it's something I will learn to say. I have health issues to deal with, and I will deal w/those. I have given up relationships w/friends to try to make my relationship easier, and I will not only reclaim those friends, but make new ones. Life is just to short to be spending it the way I have, and fulfilling these promises to myself, I will not only enjoy it more, but be healthier as well. Anyone else ?

It seems like I have the most topsy-tervy relationship known to man. Just when I really start thinking about how great this man is, he just up and ruins the whole thought process I have of him. He's an alcoholic. Need I say more? Been on the verge of that myself once, but overcame it. Alot of people think if you are an alcoholic, you got to drink EVERY day. Not true. There are some who once they start, they can't stop. He falls into that catagory. I'm either so in love w/him I can't hardly breathe, or he has pissed me off to oblivion. There's no middle ground. We are not right for each other, yet we are not right for anyone else it seems. What to do? Leave, yes I could. What exactly are you to do when you can't live w/someone, yet can't live w/out them either. There are songs about this very thing, and they never say whats to become of it either. Quite the dilema.

Why is it such a big deal when one partner wants sex, and the other does'nt? Professionals tell you NEVER withhold sex, but if it's something I'm really not in the mood for, why should I do it? I thnk if the "I'm not in the mood" statement is made in a way that does'nt offend it should be respected. (there are ways to deal w/this on your own!) I do not want to have sex w/someone who is'nt into it. BORING!! I've heard this is different for men though, and if they want it bad enough, who cares? BUT...why pout over it, and act like an ass? Then comes the "You must be getting it somewhere else if you don't want me." I really hate that.